No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be faded to telling only lies
[chorus]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscious seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain woe
Can show through
[chorus]
Discover l.i.m.p. say it [x4]
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one know how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies
[chorus]
No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behïnd blue eyes.

 

I was actually introduced to this song recently and iit's pretty good lol ^_^ anyway there was one last thing i wanted to post  and it's a quote from someone I know and i feel its a good message anyway here it is:

My personal beliefe: you want something/someone, have the balls to take what you want, fight for what/who you "love"  

So i have finally emerged from my hole in the ground A.k.a my basement. Emerged from my 5 consecutive all nighters/gaming spree and I'm tired as hell lol srry but the coffee will sustain me jks. The possibility of total mental collapse is now a reality, no footing at all. But I am here none the less lol ^_^".Argh i'm having difficulty writing this blog I'm getting easily distracted by Adobe Photoshop ^_^ lol. Anyways....................During these nights I learned a few very crucial survival tips that will not only keep you sane but physically fit as well lol. In all seriousness though they're rather dumb yet rather funny so I figured I'd share them with you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Like a sentence to death
I've got no options left
I've got nothing to show now
I'm down on the ground
I've got seconds to live
And you can't go now

Cause love, like an invisible bullet has shot me down and I'm bleeding - yeah, I'm bleeding
And if you go, furious angels will bring you back to me

You're a dirty needle
You're in my blood and there's no curing me
And I want to run
(like the blood from a wound)
To a place you can't see me

Cause love, like a blow to the head, has left me stunned and i'm reeling - yeah, I'm reeling
And if you go, furious angels will bring you back to me

You're a cold piece of steel between my ribs and there's no saving me
And I can't get up from this wet crimson bed that you made for me

Cause love, like a knife in the back, has cut me down and I'm bleeding - yeah, I'm bleeding
And if you go, angels will run to defend me - to defend me

Cause i can't get up
I'm as cold as a stove
I can feel the life fade from me
I'm down on the ground
I've got seconds to live
Then what's there that waits for me?

Cause love, like a sentence of death has left me stunned, and i'm reeling - yeah, i'm reeling
And if you go, furious angels will bring you back to me

Okay lets face it people reality sux, it bites. No answers come easily and nothings for free. This we know but what we don't know is that we ourselves also contribute to reality based on the emotions we project out. I'm not trying to improve the world or quality of life or anything I'm just saying everybody is so negative and it pisses me off be happy damnit. I'm sick and tired of putting out happy vibes for everybody and just getting attitude and ignorance in return so as of now fuck you your on your own I'm gonna go fuck off somewhere until you people are ready to start handling shit properly i'm sick and tired of all this shit fucking stuff driving me nutz. I mean honestly I'm sick and tired of the drama and emo shit so you people call yourselves human being then use that shit you call logic and figure things out i'm bloody drained out. I gave at the office so everybody can just bugger off because this is rediculous. I mean the situation i'm in right now is fucked as it is but then i gotta add everyone else's shit on top of it well fuck that handle your own problems your big boys and girls. Cause honestly i don't really fucking care anymore I could give less then a shit about whats going on I've got my own shit to deal with which I constantly have people butting in either literally or not but either way it's got me pissed off so fuck it. I don't know why I try anymore oh wait i know it's because I have to keep going, move on be strong ha oh man see now thats just gotta be the dumbest thing i've heard. Honestly do I have a big target on my head say SUCKER please abuse to your enjoyment. Fuck getting jerked around by people.

Well boys and girls here we are gatered around in a circle once again but today is a little different then our other times together

today i'm here to tell you a story about a boy just like you and me.

 

This little boy grew up in a house of smiles and happiness and he could have lived happily ever after but instead he chose to take that for granted and chose to lie steal cheat and over all act like an asshole. As he got older and older he experienced something new each day, for sa while he left home and lived on other people's hospitality after a while he found acceptance at home and moved back in. and things proceeded to go as they did before he left. However still he found himself stealing, lieing and cheating so needless to say nothing had really changed.things continued on like this for a while. But still he pressed on in life looking for something not sure of what it was but still looking. After a few years of searching he was ready to give up with no end in sight. Then one night as fate would have it he found what he was looking for. As it turns out boys and girls what he was looking for was not an "it" but a "who". For on this special night he met someone. This someone had hair that was golden like the suns rays, eyes that shimmered like diamonds in a deep ocean and a voice like an angel that sent warm waves through his body and soul. As soon as he laid eyes on this person he knew he had to meet her. When he did he immediately felt attatched to her. He was excited because she also seemed to like him too. Unfortunately the night came to an end and they had to part ways and when they did he felt as though a peice of him had been unwillingly stripped away from his soul. He knew he had to see her again so he obtained her contact information from her and made a plan to see her again the next day. Once he had arrived home from school the next day he flew to the phone and his hands danced across the pad knowing that in a few moments he would be able to talk to her again even if was only over the phone. As they proceeded to talk he suggested that they get together and so they arranged a time and for him to come to her apartment. After walking for about half an hour he reached her aprtment only to be met with dissapointment for he forgot to get her buzz number. He was soo close to seeing her again and he wouldn't turn back because of this minor setback. So he proceeded to buzz every apartment in the building and with every number he put in he was only met with dissapointment and after buzzing what seemed like the entire building he turned away in dissapointment. Little did he know that the one number he missed was hers. So he proceeded to the nearest pay phone with her number and dialed. Again he was only met with more disapointment to find out that he had copied down the number wrong. So he slowly trudged back to his house down hearted and feeling let down he was nearing the local mall when he happend upon one of his good buddies. His freind told him that the girl had been worried about him not showing up and had sent him out to find the boy. Once they returned to the apartment building they wer let up to her aprtment and let in. He felt so happy to be with her again that he could have just died there on the spot. As time passed on they grew to care about each other and those feelings turned into a beatiful and rare relationship. Finally he knew what true happiness was and open admitted to her that he was willing to spend the rest of his life with her and as a symbol of his affection for her he bought her a ring that he hoped he would be able to give her one day that would tie him to her forever. Again as time passed they hit a few bumps along the road however they worked through them together and stuck by each other. As for where they are, well boys and girls the last time i taslked to him things were alittle shaky again and it is unfortunate because the boy did it himself by lieing to her. Now he must leave it to her to decide his fate and still he waits for her with ring in hand waiting .

Whether or not they live happily ever after boys and girls i cannot say because it has yet to be written. All I can tell you for sure is that he loves her very much.

 

To those of you reading this I'm not saying i'm perfect I'm not saying I'm in the right. What I am saying is that during my life I have done alot of things to people and a good number of them I'm not proud of so if I have wronged you in some way throughout my life then from the bottum of my heart I apologize afterall nows a good time to be making amends for it and starting over so again I say to you all who have suffered me I am sorry.

 

Ciao

Mark

Love you Fi

_You were there with me through all my tears and now losing you has become my fears

all I ask is foryou to be with meand I hope you'll agree_